Helena Mooney

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LISTEN on:

Does your partner parent differently to you? Does it really annoy you?!

Parenting can become a huge source of conflict within a relationship.  It’s super easy to find fault in what your partner does or doesn’t do and berate them in not doing things ‘right’.

So how can you navigate those challenges?

1. Understand that men generally find listening to upset feelings really hard to do and will often refuse to do it.  
Little boys weren’t allowed to be upset, sad or scared.  Whereas it was more acceptable for little girls to cry and be upset.  Try to be more understanding of their upbringing and how hard they might find it.

2. Don’t expect perfection  
Expecting your partner to be perfect and do it all correctly sets them up to fail and will inevitably lead to arguments.  It’s important that you don’t expect perfection from yourself, and likewise to not expect it from your partner.  When you can do that, there’s more room for flexibility, fallibility and fun.

3. Appreciate for everything your parter DOES do
It’s soooo easy to focus on everything they don’t do, or that they do wrong.  So it can require you to actively notice and appreciate what they do do.  You don’t have to do everything the same.  You’re in a partnership and you bring your skills and contributions, and likewise they do too.  So notice how fabulous they are.

4. Have a baseline for what you’re not willing to do or what you want
Identify what’s important to you and then be more flexible about the rest.

5. Be the leader in areas important to you
Sometimes you’re going to need to be the one to implement the action that’s important to you.  Maybe you’ll be the only one who listens to upset feelings because that’s important to you, but because that’s something important to you, you’re prepared and willing to do that.

6. Have fun together without the kids
Enjoy each other’s company again without the responsibility of being parents.  Have fun together because the more you can do that, the more you like each other again!  And the more you like each other, the more willing you are to be flexible with each other and as parents to your children.

If you would like additional support in navigating parenting with your partner or ex-partner, book in a 1:1 consultation with me.